Not to sound feminist/racist, but this topic is worrying me to death that I am simply moved to write about it.
I know men can be clueless at times, but there’s nothing like the case of a classic-babied-by-his-mom-grown-up-Filipino-man who unfortunately, inflicts suffering to Pinays. I don’t know who’s into more trouble: The pathetic man, or the equally-pathetic Pinay who falls in love for such type of men. Ouch!
I’ve read a blog about why Filipino Men Do Not Deserve Filipinas, hence the latter normally opt for an overseas, Caucasian lover who can put up with her standards.
Here are some excerpts to the post that terribly resonates like an all-out rock concert!
What defines a man?
One definition among many that comprise the holistic definition of a man is to be a provider. Sadly, for guys who want to take comfort in the concept of female economic equality with men; this is really an excuse of abdicating their roles as providers.
It’s a wake-up call to Filipino men; the fact that many women from all class levels, would consider it a more viable option to hook up with foreign men and migrate to other countries, as opposed to marrying a local Filipino who couldn’t or wouldn’t step up to his role as a man and provide for her.
I am so blessed my dad did not turn out like this. Can you imagine growing up in a home where your mother provides, and your mother takes care of the family! – while the father grown and abled, sits contently fanning his balls (if there is any, at all)?
Now I’ve heard this before, “Ganito kami pinalaki ng nanay namen, eh!”
Filipino men as overgrown ungrateful babies
Some forums even feature Filipino men blaming their own mothers for their state of irresponsibility. Some are saying that they were being babied by their moms into becoming irresponsible. Is this really a valid excuse when they’re already adults and ostensibly responsible for their life choices? Or is this another cop-out?
My brother and I grew up in the middle-class strata where my father is the sole provider, while mom takes care of all of us. We usually had a yaya or house-help while growing up. But never did we turn out to be lacking in basic housekeeping skills like washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, basic cooking, laundry, etc. It was never the task of the maid to do EVERYTHING. We had to pick up some responsibility. I believe this early training empowered me and my brother to be independent not only in our career decisions, but in keeping my apartment safe for habitation! Lol!
What I don’t get is why some families (would you believe, even those struggling financially and cannot afford a yaya!), are not quite successful in producing self-supporting, and capable grown up off springs? You can tell by the number of tambays out there who are actually the “Kuyas” of the house. You think the spoiled brats are only the kids of the rich? Observation of the Pinoy society would tell something else.
So back to my original question: Why are some Filipino men act like babies even when they’re all grown-up as adults? And why do some Filipinas find them to be attractive to actually fall for them?
If that truly speaks of my predicament, then I think……it sucks to be me!
The trend of Filipinas finding chat partners, webcam partners, and dating partners online is really a side issue. The real focus here is the question of whether Filipino men have failed Filipino women. To some extent, do Filipino men really deserve Filipinas?