What made me fall in love in the first place

Warning: This is an utterly cheesy post. But I am writing it anyway (and publishing here!), just in case in the future I will forget how I fell in love with my husband – and how crazy I went. You know, past the honeymoon stage, so much practicality takes over one’s marriage (add kids to the picture) and we can easily fall to the trap of losing the memory why you are married in the first place.

I can strongly remember the first time I exclusively spoke with my husband, I got easily drawn to his character – so much gentleness, humility, and kindness towards me. So genuine goodness. And as you know, I am some sort of a strong-willed woman who’s not used to this type of simplicity of character. So this is like finding a vanilla cupcake amidst a glorious bunch of dark chocolate ones.

I don’t believe in sparks or magic or love at first sight. But I knew right there and then that what I felt was something I have absolutely never ever felt with anyone before, even with past boyfriends. I used to deny this to myself back then, thinking that ALL LOVE is just the same. We can feel the same feelings we felt before. But I knew deep inside, he was different. THIS is different.

And when I realized I have fallen in love with him, there was no stopping me or us. I went for it – with all my heart. I was just so madly and crazy in love with this guy, thinking he is really a nice one. But my eyes were also open to our realities. I knew we were two different people coming from different backgrounds. But it was like meeting your soul mate. It’s okay. It’s fine. We can work it out.

And so we did. One by one, things fell into place and our relationship grew even stronger. Although, there were times when I wanted out because I felt he can sometimes take me for granted. Maybe because I wanted us to have more time together. It came to a point when I no longer get it why we should be apart. Maybe, because we were truly meant for each other.

I remember the passion, the “always looking forward to see him again” feeling. The first few months had my phone beeping non-stop from his texts. I remember spending a whole day at work, in front of my pc, but phone in my hand – so busy answering his messages. I was not working at all!!

Fast forward – and now we’re married + 1 kid. Most days we talk about house chores, schedules, plans, money, and work projects. I get annoyed by his little idiosyncrasies I can’t stand. Until now, I cannot be ok with his laziness to take a bath/brush his teeth. BUT despite all these everyday annoyances – I.always.want.him.around.

I still love being with my husband – beside me, inside the little home we made. With or without our child.

I’m writing this down to remind me. In case there comes a time I no longer want him around. Or forgot why we are with each other.

I pray that that won’t ever happen.

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