So the past couple of months my brains and hands have been away from my blog (because apparently, some life-consuming job practically took over everything!), I am now back to blogging with a good reason – I cannot miss writing about my first year as a wife.
My dad has been waiting for me to do the SONA (State of the Nation Address, as we know it in the Philippines), but this time it will be something related to my first year of marriage.
So here we go..
Can I just say that I simply cannot relate to women in their first or early years of marriage who are still going head-over-heels-still-swooning-over-their-husbands. Nothing wrong with that though. In fact I think that’s the norm, sort of what they call the “honeymoon stage”. And so I wonder if I am the “odd woman out”. Because to be honest, my mind and heart have loooooooong been past that stage of rose-colored glasses. Don’t get me wrong though. I’m still very much in love with my husband. He is after all, the one I married and the love of my life. But it’s much more than that teen-age romantic feeling of honeymooners. What I believe is that our love has grown stronger, purer, and more honest than ever.
It is bare without the frills. It is real and present not because of, but in spite of. It feels a lot of things… but it sees more than it feels – and it accepts it as it is.
In my first year of marriage, I understood that it is a daily calling to be unconditional. Humans as we are, that is most challenging. How can you throw your expectations for a co-equal/co-partner out the window that easy? I once saw a scene in the movie Did You Hear About the Morgans, that you are supposed to expect EVERYTHING from your spouse! Why? Because you are lifetime partners forever. So I don’t believe in marriages that are always sunny or rosy. Marriages that are never threatened or challenged. Maybe there are no such unions, but to me reality has happened sooner than later.
We don’t really argue or get into conflicts often. In fact, I can only count the times when we really had fights. But our married life isn’t always of romance and the feel-good-one. I think it’s more of a roller-coaster-ride where there are days when the ride is pleasant and exciting… and some days when it’s just horrific.
I for one is not perfect (and so as my husband). I joke him by saying that you’ve married a wife who’s half goddess, and half monster! Haha! Obviously, I don’t subscribe to the time frame of honeymoon then disillusion. In my case, I think it’s a daily, weekly, monthly, yearly shift in climate. And that is perfectly fine with me.
Because early on, I have faced the reality of marital imperfections. And I’m thankful that there are more days that we as a husband and wife were able to overcome them.
I don’t believe in happy couple selfies. Because what we don’t see behind them is the reality of constant love-and-conflict that makes a marriage more real and enduring.
End of SONA. I hope I hear some applause 🙂