Lenten Fridays: Romancing your Husband

You bet, I missed one Friday! I was too excited to go home last Friday because the following week was the start of my work-from-home set-up. I was not only thrilled of not having to wake up early to commute for work – but I was doubly happy to be spending more “morning time” with my husband.

Since we’re both full-time employees, the usual morning routine would be:

  1. Pick up phone alarm
  2. Kiss your husband good morning
  3. Take a bath and fix myself absentmindedly
  4. Kiss husband good bye and rush out the door

My husband has a more flexible time at work and clocks in at around 10am in the office. So most of the time when I leave for work, his eyes are still shut while assisting me to get past the door and stairs. I’m not sure if I should be the one to assist him instead!🙂

Then I realize that I am missing out on the opportunity to serve him breakfast and yes – romance him in the morning. I’m a big breakfast eater myself and I usually do it while checking emails on my desk. I don’t rush when eating even if I multitask so I still think we’ve got a good morning habit in there. In contrast is my husband’s routine. He just drinks coffee or a cereal drink – or he can even make do without eating breakfast. The consequence? Overeating during lunch and dinner! Not good for his goal of getting more in shape and energetic before the baby arrives.

So you can imagine how great it is to finally have an additional half-hour or even an hour every morning to prepare breakfast for both of us before I Skype my boss. Add to that is the chance to bond even more as husband and wife. When you get married, you gotta try this if life permits. Before you start facing the world, it’s so good to talk to your spouse about your plans for the day and the thoughts you have over the past days. It keeps both of you on the same page and it makes each one aware of what the other is going through. I love that before anything else I can encourage my husband when he’s going through a tough time. And of course, it feels good to give and receive additional affection from your spouse – apart from good morning, good bye, good night hugs and kisses🙂

Romance as a dimension of Marriage

romance

I used to think that “romance” is such a trivial dimension of love. As we learn from experience, we realize that love is not an emotion – but a deliberate decision to stick with the person no matter what. So that puts romance to a slightly lower kind of loving. But there is one thing that romance can boast off – it adds ‘sizzle’ in any relationship. Sizzle – meaning warmth, intimacy, and connection between a married couple. It makes you feel secured that the other person will always be the other half of you…  the one who’s meant to be your lover, best friend, lifetime partner. When Romer and I get to some awkward silence after a conflict, a warm hug is usually all that it takes to break the ice. So romance has a way of leading you both to a lighter path and a better mood.

But romancing your husband isn’t always easy. There are days when you are all spent to spare time and energy for the man in your life. Or it could be that there’s an issue, an elephant in the room that needs to get kicked out and you don’t feel all lovey-dovey at the moment. It’s a bigger challenge too, when both of you are hurting after a big fight, or after so many years of growing distant and calloused towards one another (usually the case in older marriages).

Reflecting on Romance

This Lent, let’s take time to reflect on what is it that’s stopping us to “romance” our spouse. Is it pride? Lack of time or affection? How about a nagging hurt inside you against your husband/wife?

Think about this: Would Jesus withhold His love for us despite being condemned and scarred up to His death?

Maybe if we think about romance in a way of doing a form of service to one another, and realize that ultimately it is something that can do more good for our marriage – it would’t be so hard after all.

 

 

 

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