After a month of separation, the loss has started to sink in. I thought I’d be able to get through this without much tears… but I am only human. So now I decide to accept that here is the sad lonely part: when you begin to miss the person and the good ol’ times.
I sympathize with single women out there who feel that this is a hopeless battle. Even if for the most part of my young adult life I was in a commitment, there have been some years when I spent it without someone to hold hands with. And I had my share of difficulties too. Through it all, I still think singlehood is precious grace from God, and it is normal to feel like struggling. Why? Well, I just thought it would be good to share it in 3 points:
(1) Loneliness is a universal feeling – yes even married people feel this way. Which is more sad? Lonely because you are without someone, or you are lonely despite being with someone? When you think about it this way, you’ll see lonely single men/women are in a better position, don’t you think? Or maybe because we human beaings, married or single, will always have that emptiness inside us all – that vacuum only God can fill. So let’s feel it all out! Go empty big time! And let our big God fill in the pieces of our lives back again.
(2) It is liberating. There is a certain kind of freedom that singlehood brings. Now I am free from having to consider the next person when I need to decide on something – both life changing (or not so). Gone are the days when the calendar is sketched to fit in what’s convenient for the relationship. No more thinking like “2 or 3 years from now, what should I be doing so we can settle according to the plan?” Although planning ahead is good, I can only plan for myself and my family now. It’s freedom from the third party.
(3) It draws you closer to God. Reading from a favorite author, Rissa Singson-Kawpeng wrote in her book Confessions of an Impatient Bride that sometimes during Valentine’s Day, the pain (of loneliness) is so real she is brought to tears. Some nights I feel I am pushed to such low levels that I would be crying out to God, “Lord, please stop me from missing him… please.”
Whenever I pray that way I feel a certain peace in my heart, as if Jesus is telling me that “My Grace is sufficient for you…” . We say our most ardent, most beautiful prayers when we are in pain and broken. This surely has drawn me closer to Him. And so, isn’t this all good? 🙂
When I reflect on these thoughts early this morning I thank the Lord because after a few teary-nights, I began to see more of the sunshine today 🙂
but He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. – 2 Corinthians 12:9