Why Some Filipino Men are Babies

Not to sound  feminist/racist, but this topic is worrying me to death that I am simply moved to write about it.

I know men can be clueless at times, but there’s nothing like the case of a classic-babied-by-his-mom-grown-up-Filipino-man who unfortunately,  inflicts suffering to Pinays. I don’t know who’s into more trouble: The pathetic man, or the equally-pathetic Pinay who falls in love for such type of men. Ouch!

I’ve read a blog about why Filipino Men Do Not Deserve Filipinas, hence the latter normally opt for an overseas, Caucasian lover who can put up with her standards.

Here are some excerpts to the post that terribly resonates like an all-out rock concert!

What defines a man?

One definition among many that comprise the holistic definition of a man is to be a provider. Sadly, for guys who want to take comfort in the concept of female economic equality with men; this is really an excuse of abdicating their roles as providers.
It’s a wake-up call to Filipino men; the fact that many women from all class levels, would consider it a more viable option to hook up with foreign men and migrate to other countries, as opposed to marrying a local Filipino who couldn’t or wouldn’t step up to his role as a man and provide for her.

I am so blessed my dad did not turn out like this. Can you imagine growing up in a home where your mother provides, and your mother takes care of the family! – while the father grown and abled, sits contently fanning his balls (if there is any, at all)?

Now I’ve heard this before, “Ganito kami pinalaki ng nanay namen, eh!”

POOR THING.

Filipino men as overgrown ungrateful babies

Some forums even feature Filipino men blaming their own mothers for their state of irresponsibility. Some are saying that they were being babied by their moms into becoming irresponsible. Is this really a valid excuse when they’re already adults and ostensibly responsible for their life choices? Or is this another cop-out?

My brother and I grew up in the middle-class strata where my father is the sole provider, while mom takes care of all of us. We usually had a yaya or house-help while growing up. But never did we turn out to be lacking in basic housekeeping skills like washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, basic cooking, laundry, etc. It was never the task of the maid to do EVERYTHING. We had to pick up some responsibility. I believe this early training empowered me and my brother to be independent not only in our career decisions, but in keeping my apartment safe for habitation! Lol!

What I don’t get is why some families (would you believe, even those struggling financially and cannot afford a yaya!), are not quite successful in producing self-supporting, and capable grown up off springs? You can tell by the number of tambays out there who are actually the “Kuyas” of the house. You think the spoiled brats are only the kids of the rich? Observation of the Pinoy society would tell something else.

So back to my original question: Why are some Filipino men act like babies even when they’re all grown-up as adults? And why do some Filipinas find them to be attractive to actually fall for them?

If that truly speaks of my predicament, then I think……it sucks to be me! 

Final excerpt:

The trend of Filipinas finding chat partners, webcam partners, and dating partners online is really a side issue. The real focus here is the question of whether Filipino men have failed Filipino women. To some extent, do Filipino men really deserve Filipinas?

Crunch Time: 2010 Philippine Presidential Elections

It’s such a chaotic time these days, what with Philippine presidentiables running with panic as the elections get closer and closer to date. The competition has dwindled down for the top 2 candidates now. In basketball they call this “crunch time” when players need to watch their guards yet must have the courage to take the crucial shots in the remaining minutes of the game. For the presidential candidates, it is the best time to 1.)Release all that campaign money to the max. 2.)Exhaust all possible issues to topple down each other’s reputation 3.)Run from north to south to smile, shake hands, and pursue the electorate. This is really crunch time.

I’d like to believe I already have my President in mind. But things can change from today up until the time I cast my vote. Given that this period is so crucial to the presidential aspirants, the voting public must be keen in observing how these men behave and conduct themselves during crunch time. Do they exhibit finesse? or do they just keep on berating one another? Do they show substance? or do they settle for motherhood statements and “kwela” jingles?

2010 Philippine Presidentiables: NoyNoy Aquino, JC De los Reyes (has already conceded in the race), Jamby Madrigal, Manny Villar, Gibo Teodoro, Dick Gordon, Erap Estrada, Eddie Villanueva, Nicanor Perlas

Let us look at their courses of action this time. Even if it is human nature to give in to “perceptive listening” (a concept that tells us we only hear what we want to listen to, thus filtering the message/s), we cannot afford to keep a biased disposition especially now. There are still important messages we’d have to consider as we see them campaign for their lives. This will tell you the kind of President that he will be like – when under pressure and public scrutiny.

Let’s seize these remaining moments before the elections. As we watch events unfold, the hope is that we get compelled to vote with our conscience, and not with some survey results and funny jingles.

10 Ways to Stay Positive in 2010

Happy New Year everyone! Oh yes, it’s been 10 days since 2010 knocked on our doors, but just the same the new year-new life fever is still on. I have finally given up on my resolution (for 3 straight years already) to lose weight. I realized it is to no avail And maybe, just maybe, the thing that fails me is the attitude. The same goes for many things in our lives, not just weight loss. We kinda trail off after some time because our attitude does not sustain us.

So anyway, this year my resolve is to be positive, stay positive! In everything, in any kind of mess I get in, I’ll try to see the brighter side and make my optimism come true *fingers crossed*. If I have that, I’m positive that the weight loss thing will turn out well, too.

If you’re a nega-star or a nega-holic, staying positive is just as challenging as a left-handed trying to write with his right hand. I realized, it will not just be timely but helpful to give out some tips on how to keep your pluses (+)  the whole year through.

Here are 10 Ways to Stay Positive in 2010

1. Forget about the things you can’t control

The thing that robs off our joy and hope is worry. I have learned that there are really so few things in life that we can control, ourselves included. The rest are out of our hands. Does it seem like a futile activity to keep on worrying about something you can’t really do anything about? Answer: YES. So quit the wrinkle-inducing thought, and believe that everything is being held by God’s loving hands. Hope for the best!

2. Focus on your goal

The power of goal-setting and ambition drives us to stay motivated. Think of the scenario when you are finally done with a long standing project. What relief and pride you would feel, isn’t it? Most of the time, what we set our hearts and minds into are the very things that keep us going. Also, remember to take note of your successes along the way, whether big or small.

3. Appreciate the moment

If you’re coming from a terrible breakup, of course you would be crazy if you feel appreciative of your current state. That would be such a tall order. But many times, we forget that moments just pass us by – whether they are good or bad. If you have a happy picture currently, savor and enjoy before the moment passes you by. If it is one that crushes your spirit, be comforted with the fact that its harsh fires will burn off after some time. Circumstances are always neutral. It’s how we deal with them that makes all the difference.

4. Choose your crowd

You don’t want to be stuck in a sea of misery all year, don’t you? So choose whom you hang out with! Research says that feelings are contagious. You can get the vibes of another person if you constantly spend time with him or her. Choose sunshines and rainbows. Bond with this crowd.

5. Spend more family time.

Have you ever noticed that after a weekend of family picnic, or whatever get-together you spend brings out the positive energy for Monday? Because we all in need of our base, our home – it’s where we recharge to face the world in the coming week.

6. Decide to keep on learning

New discoveries spur our minds to be active. The excitement of reading a new book, visiting a new place, or mastering a new skill can sustain our spirits to be on the move. Learning keeps the ball rolling. That makes boredom and procrastination to settle somewhere else. So decide to learn new things everyday.

7.  Stop comparing yourself with others

Regularly criticizing yourself is no good, especially if there’s another person in the picture. Sometimes I am guilty of this – trying to measure up as I check out what others have achieved, instead of feeling genuinely happy for them.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, think of how good the Lord is in blessing someone else’s life. From that point of view, you will begin to see the wonder in your own life brought by His hands.

8. Laugh often

Some of its Benefits:

• Relieves stress
• Contributes to skin-wellness
• Attracts the opposite sex – now, don’t we all want that?

9. Hold your Tongue

When you feel like saying the *F* word or whatever negative term you habitually say, hold it! Don’t let another let-down word upset your day or someone else’s. Even if we sometimes say things we don’t want out when provoked, try your best not to give in. Trust me, it’ll make you feel a lot better than when you cursed the world or something.

10. Count your Blessings

Finally, believe that a grateful heart attracts more blessings to come your way. When you are thankful for what you have regardless if these are big or small, plenty or few – counting one’s blessings makes you smile (admit it!) The best part is, the positive disposition powers the universe to conspire for you to make greater things happen in your life!

So keep the optimism burning and have an amazing 2010! It’ll be larger than you think.

I’m positive about that!

What Christmas Is

Do you know what Christmas is?

Aside from the universal belief of the Christian world that Christ the Savior was born on Christmas day, honestly what does Christmas mean to you? After loads of shopping and party preparations lately, I felt restless and lost and empty all of a sudden in the midst of the rush. I tell myself that after the 25th, things will run as normal as it had been in the past years. Then it felt like Christmas celebrations are just too overrated because too much resources are being poured out for just a single, meager day in the calendar. And who knows someone could be broke a week after the festivities (too bad).

Today, a priest spoke to me about praying for happiness. He says that, what the world needs are happy people. Because when people are happy, they behave better, and love more. Every society can count its progress on a happy citizenry.
And that the Lord wants us to be happy not only this advent, but for the days and weeks and years to come.

So I thought for a moment, maybe this priest saw something in me that he has seen in most people. I didn’t seem sad when I approached him, but maybe in his keen sense of people there could be something he knew I’ve been trying to put off. Then he says, “to choose happiness is what Christmas is about.”

Happy. Happiness. How can you say that you are truly happy? I thought maybe the meaning of Christmas for me and for most people is so closely related to our happiness. And in our difficult search for it makes it all the more hard for us to appreciate what Christmas is.

In my alone time, I started off a list of what could happiness (and Christmas) mean to people. Is it when:

You have finally learned to forgive the one who has wronged and hurt you?
And that you have chosen to forgive yourself, as well?
You have accepted that people can be mean and nasty (just like you), but it doesn’t mean that completely defines us?
You have went out of your comfort zone to show more love?
You are at peace with yourself, your current state, your desires and wishes?
You are thankful and mindful of what you have, instead of what you do not have?
You spend more time with people who matter to you the most – like family?
You kept your promises to people and to yourself?
You brought hope for people who do not have it?
And you have come to decide to be friends with God again?

And the list can go on and on, but I hope and pray that this Advent season we will be drawn to define what truly fills our hearts with joy – so we can make the people around us real happy, as well.

Don’t you think that is what Christmas is?

What can you give this Christmas?

The holiday rush is growing like some forest fire these days. More and more people, after getting the sweet December 13th month pay are invading malls, tiangge’s, and divisoria for gift shopping.

I can bet someone you know just bought a new gadget? (I bought mine earlier in November ).

With all these frantic mall walkathon’s and impossible traffic jams, I’m pretty sure the thought of your many inaanaks asking for their aguinaldos is stressing the hell out of you. Is this really all there is in gift-giving?

What could be more meaningful?

I’ve been a “happy” subscriber of GodWhispers.com and there is this one particular letter God sent to me:

You have a gift—a very special gift—to give to the world.

Don’t hold back,

God

And so it just hit me – that each one of us regardless of where we are coming from: from our political biases down to how much cash left in our Christmas bonuses, are given a precious gift that compels us to share to people.

We may or may not afford so much of this world but one thing is for sure: God has blessed us with something so uniquely ours that it can be really so sad if we deprive the world of that gift we can always give.

For some, they are yet in the journey of discovering this special gift. For others, it’s like a friend you’ve known your whole life.

But are you still holding it back?

The funny thing is:

When you give this special gift fully and unselfishly to the world, happiness and success will flow to your life like a rampaging river.

So put down those shopping bags and spare the credit card. There is something in you that is more precious to share.

What can you give this Christmas?

CNN Hero of the Year: A Filipino – Efren Peñaflorida, Jr.

Today I was wanting to write about Thailand and how similar this land is to us. As my good friend and BKK travel partner puts it, it’s like our parallel universe. Their narrow roads are just like ours (Libertad, Pasay!) – minus the unruly drivers and honking cars. I must say they’ve gone ahead of us in terms of well-planned public transport systems.  Therefore Bangkok, even if it looks much like Manila – has tolerable traffic and courteous cab drivers. I like them.

Much ado about that. This morning I’m choosing not to rant about what we lack here in the Philippines and decided to focus on some Pinoy pride (good news at last!).

Our kababayan, Efren Penaflorida won CNN Hero of the Year! Yey! *dances* I’m doubly-proud because he hails from where we live, the province of Cavite. Watch the full video of his awarding here: Efren Peñaflorida wins CNN Hero of the Year 2009

Efren “Kuya Ef” Peñaflorida is a teacher and social worker in the Philippines. He has been named “CNN Hero of the Year” in 2009 for his outstanding advocacy to educate Filipino out-of-school youth through “pushcart classes. “Peñaflorida grew up in Cavite City. During his early days in school, he experienced being harassed and threatened by gangs near their school. Despite this, he still managed to finish his studies.

His growing concern for the unschooled children in his hometown led Peñaflorida to establish Dynamic Teen Company (DTC). At that time, he was only sixteen. He envisioned this organization as a tool to reach the underserved Filipino youth by providing free tutorials. He asked three fellow high school students to devote some of their time to teach children in the slum areas every Saturday.

After ten years, DTC has gained around 10,000 memberships and conducted tutorials for approximately 1,500 children.Today, DTC’s “pushcart classroom” also teaches basic reading and writing to street children.

It feels good to read about something we can be proud of as a Filipino. Now we know that anyone can be a hero – regardless if you have little or plenty, if you live in a third-world country or otherwise. There is a hero in each one of us waiting to be tapped for service.

I think we should be noticing these things more deliberately instead of some lousy Pacman scandal.

To see pictures of my Bangkok adventure, check out my Facebook account.

DO NOT LOVE YOUR JOB

I was surprised to read the title above as the first line of an article written by Francis Kong. He said that while most life coaches teach that one has to learn to love his work – this isn’t necessarily true. What you need to love is the opportunity.

Yes, it’s the opportunity to be productive and working.

Appreciate with a grateful heart the goal of your job – may it be building people’s houses, healthcare, promoting good products, or in my case: bringing people to check on websites. The opportunity to be working and earning is a blessing we often tend to forget because of the daily wear-and-tear of our job’s demands. For all we know, there are hundreds of Filipinos out there who would gladly exchange places with us. As they say, opportunity comes rare these times.

So does it mean we should give up our dreams?

Personally, I know I am still seeking for that one mission in life that I wish to be translated into w-o-r-k. Everybody wants her dream job, who doesn’t anyway? But just like every thing in life, no job is perfect. And if the ideal one exists, it doesn’t come easy (or instantly). But then again, I do believe to stop pursuing it would be utmost hopeless.

So just appreciate wherever you are. Be glad of the opportunity to be doing something today. Embrace the motivation to do your current job so well, that you will not stay on it for too long. Growth comes when you support it.

Go and find ways to do your job better. Get the inspiration to continue learning and acquiring new skills. Love the opportunity you have now, and be very blessed soon!

“Because when my work turns into a dead end, you help me find the way.

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.”

iRead and iRecommend: PRO-Tips by Maloi Malibiran-Salumbides

Glorious Wednesdays: Where is the Real Storm?

Where Is The Real Storm?

Typhoon Ondoy came and went.

But the real storm is not out there.

The real storm is in your mind.

Do you believe that great things will happen to you?

Imagine a party balloon.

At first, it’s bright and fat and goes up to the ceiling.

But after a few days, it becomes deflated.

It stays on the floor.

We’re like balloons.

What keeps us up is hope.

But life happens, and everyday, we leak hope.

Especially when big trials come, we surely leak out a lot of hope.

And we’re deflated.

Here’s what you need to do: You need to refill your heart with hope.

So that you can rise up again.

Dispel the storms in your mind.

It may be stormy on the outside but it shouldn’t be stormy on the inside.

The only way to dispel the storms is to be grateful for what you have today and what will happen tomorrow.

God is redirecting you to something better.

Sit up straight. Out loud, say this declaration with me…

I’m strong in the Lord. I’m blessed. I’m forgiven. I’m protected. I’m redeemed. I’m equipped. I’m anointed. Healing flows in my body. New doors will open before me. I’ll meet the right people, the right opportunities, at the right time, at the right place. I’ll regain ten times what I lost…

In Jesus name!

Where Is The Real Storm?

Typhoon Ondoy came and went.

But the real storm is not out there.

The real storm is in your mind.

Do you believe that great things will happen to you?

Imagine a party balloon.

At first, it’s bright and fat and goes up to the ceiling.

But after a few days, it becomes deflated.

It stays on the floor.

We’re like balloons.

What keeps us up is hope.

But life happens, and everyday, we leak hope.

Especially when big trials come, we surely leak out a lot of hope.

And we’re deflated.

Here’s what you need to do: You need to refill your heart with hope.

So that you can rise up again.

Dispel the storms in your mind.

It may be stormy on the outside but it shouldn’t be stormy on the inside.

The only way to dispel the storms is to be grateful for what you have today and what will happen tomorrow.

God is redirecting you to something better.

Sit up straight. Out loud, say this declaration with me…

I’m strong in the Lord. I’m blessed. I’m forgiven. I’m protected. I’m redeemed. I’m equipped. I’m anointed. Healing flows in my body. New doors will open before me. I’ll meet the right people, the right opportunities, at the right time, at the right place. I’ll regain ten times what I lost…

In Jesus name!

Glorious Thursdays Wednesdays post coming from Bo Sanchez’ “Every Storm will End”

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Project 10^100: Make CHANGE Happen

As co-inhabitants of planet earth, and as neighbors to one another – we are equally responsible for the future of the human race. Google took the initiative. The the first step towards this goal is by summing up the best, most brilliant ideas of our generation – Project 10^100. A compilation of ideas, proposals, and actions plans shared by you and me –  with the aim of effecting change in the world we live in.

Vote for your best bet – the idea which you think will have the greatest impact to everyone’s lives. Your vote for one of these ideas will help Google’s advisory board to choose up to 5 projects to fund, at which point they’ll launch an RFP process to identify the organization(s) that are best suited to implementing them.

As a Filipino, I am biased for the propositions that are most needed by my country – Disaster Preparedness (that we have lacked as proven by Ondoy), Good governance, and Micro-entrepreneurship. Check out my best bets below and vote, yes vote for a better tomorrow:

My top choices are in yellow fill.

I woke up this morning planning to blog about some quarter-life issue of mine. Until I opened my mail box and found an interesting link – Project 10^100. That was then I realized I’m not the only human being in this world going through life’s issues.  A million, billion earthlings are in the mercy of the hand of destruction. The planet is at high risk. And we have all taken a role in its slow death. If you want to make a difference, or at least owe the accountability – make your vote today.

Make CHANGE happen.

An opportunity to be proud being Pinoy

After the disastrous storm “Ondoy” the online world has been flooded (not with water though, thank God) with information on rescue requests, volunteer groups, means of donation, and hotline numbers. Oh how many times have we twitted, and re-twitted these sort of information? Facebook has been handy too in spreading the word of h-e-l-p. I like how Miriam Quiambao does her thing, as well as Sen. Chiz’ timely and wise choices in tweeting requests for volunteers, rescue operations, etc.

Though most importantly, I honor our dear countrymen here and abroad. Those OFW’s despite their strife working in distant lands, gave away their hearts to donate. During these times, it makes me feel even more proud being a Filipino. Hearing this wacky radio DJ while in the bus, “Ano pa’t mga Pinoy tayo kung hindi naten kakayanin ‘to at magtutulungan.” At that moment it was like something in me said in reply, “oo nga naman!”

So with this I’d say let us not be mere spectators of the wrath of the typhoon. Let it be our aim not to end the day saying only our prayers, without putting that faith in action. Are we contented with just “kawawa naman”, or “palpak kase ang gobyerno!”? This isn’t the time for finger-pointing. Nobody wants this.

Today I share this video with you to knock on your hearts, and to assure the families of victims that God is greater than the storm.

“Father You are King over the flood.. I will be still, know You are God..”

If you want to help but can’t get off your computer, try Team Internet at philippineaid.com

Check Miriam Quiambao’s comprehensive compilation of how you can help in many, many ways.

Help our fellow country men in need – and tell me why you are proud being Pinoy