Why Some Filipino Men are Babies

Not to sound  feminist/racist, but this topic is worrying me to death that I am simply moved to write about it.

I know men can be clueless at times, but there’s nothing like the case of a classic-babied-by-his-mom-grown-up-Filipino-man who unfortunately,  inflicts suffering to Pinays. I don’t know who’s into more trouble: The pathetic man, or the equally-pathetic Pinay who falls in love for such type of men. Ouch!

I’ve read a blog about why Filipino Men Do Not Deserve Filipinas, hence the latter normally opt for an overseas, Caucasian lover who can put up with her standards.

Here are some excerpts to the post that terribly resonates like an all-out rock concert!

What defines a man?

One definition among many that comprise the holistic definition of a man is to be a provider. Sadly, for guys who want to take comfort in the concept of female economic equality with men; this is really an excuse of abdicating their roles as providers.
It’s a wake-up call to Filipino men; the fact that many women from all class levels, would consider it a more viable option to hook up with foreign men and migrate to other countries, as opposed to marrying a local Filipino who couldn’t or wouldn’t step up to his role as a man and provide for her.

I am so blessed my dad did not turn out like this. Can you imagine growing up in a home where your mother provides, and your mother takes care of the family! – while the father grown and abled, sits contently fanning his balls (if there is any, at all)?

Now I’ve heard this before, “Ganito kami pinalaki ng nanay namen, eh!”

POOR THING.

Filipino men as overgrown ungrateful babies

Some forums even feature Filipino men blaming their own mothers for their state of irresponsibility. Some are saying that they were being babied by their moms into becoming irresponsible. Is this really a valid excuse when they’re already adults and ostensibly responsible for their life choices? Or is this another cop-out?

My brother and I grew up in the middle-class strata where my father is the sole provider, while mom takes care of all of us. We usually had a yaya or house-help while growing up. But never did we turn out to be lacking in basic housekeeping skills like washing the dishes, sweeping the floor, basic cooking, laundry, etc. It was never the task of the maid to do EVERYTHING. We had to pick up some responsibility. I believe this early training empowered me and my brother to be independent not only in our career decisions, but in keeping my apartment safe for habitation! Lol!

What I don’t get is why some families (would you believe, even those struggling financially and cannot afford a yaya!), are not quite successful in producing self-supporting, and capable grown up off springs? You can tell by the number of tambays out there who are actually the “Kuyas” of the house. You think the spoiled brats are only the kids of the rich? Observation of the Pinoy society would tell something else.

So back to my original question: Why are some Filipino men act like babies even when they’re all grown-up as adults? And why do some Filipinas find them to be attractive to actually fall for them?

If that truly speaks of my predicament, then I think……it sucks to be me! 

Final excerpt:

The trend of Filipinas finding chat partners, webcam partners, and dating partners online is really a side issue. The real focus here is the question of whether Filipino men have failed Filipino women. To some extent, do Filipino men really deserve Filipinas?

Crunch Time: 2010 Philippine Presidential Elections

It’s such a chaotic time these days, what with Philippine presidentiables running with panic as the elections get closer and closer to date. The competition has dwindled down for the top 2 candidates now. In basketball they call this “crunch time” when players need to watch their guards yet must have the courage to take the crucial shots in the remaining minutes of the game. For the presidential candidates, it is the best time to 1.)Release all that campaign money to the max. 2.)Exhaust all possible issues to topple down each other’s reputation 3.)Run from north to south to smile, shake hands, and pursue the electorate. This is really crunch time.

I’d like to believe I already have my President in mind. But things can change from today up until the time I cast my vote. Given that this period is so crucial to the presidential aspirants, the voting public must be keen in observing how these men behave and conduct themselves during crunch time. Do they exhibit finesse? or do they just keep on berating one another? Do they show substance? or do they settle for motherhood statements and “kwela” jingles?

2010 Philippine Presidentiables: NoyNoy Aquino, JC De los Reyes (has already conceded in the race), Jamby Madrigal, Manny Villar, Gibo Teodoro, Dick Gordon, Erap Estrada, Eddie Villanueva, Nicanor Perlas

Let us look at their courses of action this time. Even if it is human nature to give in to “perceptive listening” (a concept that tells us we only hear what we want to listen to, thus filtering the message/s), we cannot afford to keep a biased disposition especially now. There are still important messages we’d have to consider as we see them campaign for their lives. This will tell you the kind of President that he will be like – when under pressure and public scrutiny.

Let’s seize these remaining moments before the elections. As we watch events unfold, the hope is that we get compelled to vote with our conscience, and not with some survey results and funny jingles.

Glorious Wednesdays: Men Should Pray

I know, I know. I’m never faithful to “Glorious Wednesdays” (perhaps I need more Filipino bloggers to blog about their Christian faith so this section gets more active – and on time. Heh!)

Anyway, I had this once-in-a-while talk with my dad over the weekend. Well, it is not a spectacularly big talk, but rather a topic we never spoke of when I was growing up. It is a shame to find out that when I was still studying in college, my parents would always discourage me from getting into a relationship since I’m still in school. Now that the time is right, they have no other goal whatsoever for me but to GET A BOYFRIEND A.S.A.P! Well, I do understand their concern since ladies my age are either getting engaged or getting married (while some are getting preggy too!).  Here’s some excerpt of the conversation:

Dad: Baket kase parating “busy” ang YM status mo? Pano ka magkaka boypren nyan?

Me: LOL. eh busy eh. Tsaka may shortage daw ng mga lalake ngayon

Dad: Huh? Hindi ah

Me: Or siguro marami namang lalake dyan, pero konti lang ang “quality” men.

Dad: Marami dyan, pero hindi nga lahat karapat-dapat. Totoo yan.

I don’t know if I should feel better for dad’s confirmation of my “limited quality men theory”, or I just have to feel depressed all together now. Hehe

So this takes me to a post by Bro. Jun Asis of MabutingBalita.net:

Men Should Pray

It is a delight to see men pray. Hulking, macho, baritone-voiced men putting their shields down to be one with the
Father. Strong, seasoned and firm leaders, hands clasped, eyes closed, kneeling.

Men have the special role, the primary task of praying for their community or family. Though every member should be praying for the group they belong to, it is the men who should be leading this charge.

It is a pity that women are more visible in churches. I enjoin you (if you are a husband) to take the lead to pray for your family alone, and with them. If you are a husband or woman, please pray for the men in your life to pray more.

-  (Adapted from the talk of Edwin S during our Men’s retreat)

• If only more men would take up the lead in relationships and spiritual direction of the family and community;
• if only more men would understand the special role God has entrusted them to take care of His flock;
• if only more men would desire for God’s plan instead of “my plan” (same goes for women I think);
• if only more men would choose girls like me (now, that’s just me flattering myself hehe!)
• And if only more men would pray…

… then maybe, just maybe… women will not be so much on the side of the disadvantaged.

Blog Action Day: Support IT Jobs to Save Environment

Blog Action Day: Support IT Jobs to Save the Environment

Blog Action Day – IT jobs are ever increasing in Asia as more and more foreign companies all over the world are looking into the potential of outsourcing to Asean countries. The proliferation of work opportunities for virtual assistants, web developers, web designers, content writers, and SEO specialists has given us a unique opportunity to help environment conservation. How is that?

Simple – we are moving towards a paperless world.

What’s up for someone like me to do?  I will do my part to:

1. Open more online job opportunities for the Filipinos, especially the new graduates. That can be in the form of freelance gigs, or educating them how to earn something from the Web.

Note:  This is why it is highly necessary that we train our students to love to read and write. English skills are greatly in demand now more than ever.

2. Help spark the spirit of entrepreneurship in all of us. Can you sell offline? Go house-to-house? Sure you can do it better when you do it online! Business is the way to go if we want to be self-sustaining or financially-free. Setting up our own at-home business also saves the planet from having more buildings, more carbon emissions, more paper to throw.

3. Spread the Green Consciousness – this I mean, using my access to the Internet to promote environmentalism. The Web is a great resource of environmental organizations to support. We have an online world in our disposal to be a medium of healthy discourse on saving the planet. I can see that there have been moves by world-wide groups working towards disaster preparedness. They have opted to use the Web to acquire funding and to disseminate information on where you can volunteer to save Earth.

On Global Warming: Hosting Servers made Green

IT companies can choose Green Website Hosting. The company I work with in Australia, has partnered with Digital Pacific – Australia’s ‘greenest’ hosting company. The organization reports carbon emissions from daily operations like maintenance of hosting servers, routers and air conditioners. Following each review you can purchase carbon credits to cover one hundred per cent of its estimated emissions. An equivalent amount is fed back into the electricity grid from wind or solar power, rather than non-sustainable means.

1. Use e-mail instead of paper

2. Copy and print on both sides of paper.

3. Reuse items like envelopes, folders and paper clips.

4. Encourage your school and/or company to print documents with soy-based inks, which are less toxic.

5. Use a ceramic coffee mug instead of a disposable cup.

Hosting Servers made Green

On the global warming issue, IT companies can choose Green Website Hosting. In the company I work with in Australia, has partnered with Digital Pacific – Australia’s ‘greenest’ hosting company. The organization reports carbon emission of the business from its daily operations like maintenance of hosting servers, routers and air conditioners. Following each review the company will purchase carbon credits to cover one hundred per cent of its estimated emissions. An equivalent amount is fed back into the electricity grid from wind or solar power, rather than non-sustainable means.

I found a good link. This applies to everyone. SEQL tells us of the 100 Ways to Save the Environment including how we can do our own contribution while in the office work place.

What can you do to save the environment on Blog Action Day?

Glorious Wednesdays: Tatak Pilipino

Because prayers are meant to be answered: I will be giving prizes here at  Glorious Wednesdays

As for the month of September, I had a difficult time picking the best  Wednesday post because all were worth-reading. However, I feel that I should  feature 1 last blog post specifically for the benefits of the Ondoy victims. For  that, I commend Fr. Jun-G of the Society of Jesus (Jesuits). They are doing  God’s work by being active in the Simbahang Lingkod Bayan

Let’s hear it from the “Passionista” with his post “Tatak Pilipino”. This is so in-  rhythm with my being a proud Pinoy. Now you know why I chose his post:

salamat o Diyos… salamat.

mamaya… bukas… sa susunod… masasaksihan ko naman ang bagyong magbibigay ng hindi hapis… kundi kagalakan sa puso.

pagkakaisa. pagtutulungan. pagmamahalan.

ito ay tatak PILIPINO.

That is the authentic Filipino Bayanihan spirit coming alive amidst the storm! When you think about it though you may ask yourself, does it have to take an Ondoy before we help our brothers and sisters in need? I’m just peaceful to know that in times like this though, we can count on the Filipino

I did not forget about your prize Fr. Jun-G hehe… but it comes in the form of a donation under your name – yep, to be given to your dedicated ministry: Simbahang Linkod ng Bayan. Hope you like the prize hehe! Gcash coming in a while (romela de leon)

Congratulations Fr. Jun-G, SJ.

To the winner, and to all the bloggers who wrote for September – Thank you for sharing your wonderful words on Glorious Wednesdays. Let’s carry on with the faith until next month

For those who want to donate via Gcash to SLB just type in:

DONATE_<Amount>_<4-digit pin>_SLB and send to 2882

Your help is needed most now.

An opportunity to be proud being Pinoy

After the disastrous storm “Ondoy” the online world has been flooded (not with water though, thank God) with information on rescue requests, volunteer groups, means of donation, and hotline numbers. Oh how many times have we twitted, and re-twitted these sort of information? Facebook has been handy too in spreading the word of h-e-l-p. I like how Miriam Quiambao does her thing, as well as Sen. Chiz’ timely and wise choices in tweeting requests for volunteers, rescue operations, etc.

Though most importantly, I honor our dear countrymen here and abroad. Those OFW’s despite their strife working in distant lands, gave away their hearts to donate. During these times, it makes me feel even more proud being a Filipino. Hearing this wacky radio DJ while in the bus, “Ano pa’t mga Pinoy tayo kung hindi naten kakayanin ‘to at magtutulungan.” At that moment it was like something in me said in reply, “oo nga naman!”

So with this I’d say let us not be mere spectators of the wrath of the typhoon. Let it be our aim not to end the day saying only our prayers, without putting that faith in action. Are we contented with just “kawawa naman”, or “palpak kase ang gobyerno!”? This isn’t the time for finger-pointing. Nobody wants this.

Today I share this video with you to knock on your hearts, and to assure the families of victims that God is greater than the storm.

“Father You are King over the flood.. I will be still, know You are God..”

If you want to help but can’t get off your computer, try Team Internet at philippineaid.com

Check Miriam Quiambao’s comprehensive compilation of how you can help in many, many ways.

Help our fellow country men in need – and tell me why you are proud being Pinoy

Glorious Wednesdays: Heaven and Home

Heaven is neither America nor China. Heaven is where one finds not only the means to survive but the very meaning of survival and life.

That is from our famous running-priest Fr. Robert Reyes. I wish the CBCP would take him in now to say homilies. He’s a good and effective priest, I believe.

Today in our Glorious Wednesday post, I am featuring his blog about “Heaven  and Home”. I often talk with my IT friends about leaving the country to work in  greener pastures. But there seems to be a nagging desire to just keep our feet  here in the Philippines. Who knows, we could be losing our jobs if we go abroad  since most web-based jobs are being outsourced here in Asian countries like the  Philippines and India. Apart from that concern, the country is home to our  family and friends – the comfort zone that we know. Sure life is difficult here, but  survival is more meaningful because you are being called to share to those in  need (which are a big chunk of our population).

Anyway, here is one favorite part from Fr. Robert’s post on “Heaven and Home” written at Parokya on the Web:

When I was in China I pined for the motherland. The feeling of being a foreigner, an outsider, intensifies this longing. While I lived and worked in China, my inner eyes seemed to look further, beyond what my physical eyes saw. In fact, during the many times I prayed and closed my eyes, I did not see heaven. I saw what was around and within me. Heaven can be an escape, an alienating thought that allows us to avoid responsibility for our lives. Thus Jesus tells Nicodemus, “No one has ever gone up to heaven except the one who came from heaven, the Son of Man.” Here, Jesus reminds us to look hard at where we are and at how we live our lives where we are. Let us not waste our lives pining and wishing for what is not there and doing nothing more. For Jesus, heaven was always near. It was that moment of connection and union with His Father. It was also those many moments when He fulfilled His Father’s will where He was and with those around Him.

Dear Lord, teach us to find you not out there but right here where we live and work. Teach us the way Jesus lived, totally present and totally responsive. Teach us to live with faith and hope, without illusion, without desire to escape. Amen.

Holiday Giveaways for your business

Everything seems to be going well the past 2 days. I was able to pass  my Google Adwords Professional Exam (not with flying colors, mind you! hahaha), and finally found the time to work on my passport requirements. Today  also, I met with Mr. Jun Asis to discuss about the “writing for the web” workshop. Me and the international missionaries group are cooking up this much-awaited, one-of-a-kind, power-house online writing workshop. Obviously, I’m being biased here hehe…

This project is setting me on fire – so much passion I feel down in my tummy Of course, it is not without challenges. Aside from a busy schedule, the temptation to feel proud and all is there. Everyday it is my prayer that God will teach me to be humble so that it is His name that shall be glorified. (Okay rom, it isn’t Glorious Wednesday yet).

Here is the real deal:

Anyway, the parents tasked me to do something naman for our dear laundry business. Since the Yuletide season is knocking at our doors (Septem-BER na!), I’m now searching online for prospective giveaways from Bubble n’Joy You should plan to scout or design one too if you’re running a business.

Here are some of my crazy finds:

My best, favorite bet is this one (though my mom and dad would definitely not succumb to…)

let's go korean

Isn’t she a darling? This will surely cheer up our loyal customers (to the surprise of mom and dad). Who says your business giveaway must be boring, generic, and looks like it deserves the trash bin? Let’s have some fun once in a while

This one though is perfect for my bathroom:

Glorious Wednesdays: beautiful One-liners

I’m truly sorry for posting this late, a lot has came up yesterday, so this sounds more like  ”Luminous Thursdays” na, hehe. But anyway, I’d like to share how special GW is this week.

Do you believe in the power of one-liners? Yeah like when you first heard the love of  your life say “I love you”, for instance… or when your college professor has struck a chord  in you when he said something of wisdom… or when you hear a long-time enemy say his  heartfelt “sorry”. One-liners are more powerful than we think.. sometimes they are better to  hear than all words summed up together. Today, I honor the blogger who is an inspiration to our feature post. The author is anonymous (I think), but the inspiration lies here. Be Inspired Now!

I like item number 9. It makes me reflect, so much for all the Bible interpretation wars of our generation, when in reality –  We don’t change God’s message — His message changes us.

1. Give God what’s right — not what’s left.

2. Man’s way leads to a hopeless end — God’s way leads to an endless hope.

3. A lot of kneeling will keep you in good standing.

4. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.

5. Don’t put a question mark where God puts a period.

6. Are you wrinkled with burden? Come to the church for a facelift.

7. When praying, don’t give God instructions — just report for duty.

8. Don’t wait for six strong men to take you to church.

9. We don’t change God’s message — His message changes us.

10. When God ordains, He sustains.

11. Plan ahead — It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.

12. Most people want to serve God, but only in an advisory position.

13. Suffering from truth decay? Brush up on your Bible.

14. Exercise daily — walk with the Lord.

15. Never give the devil a ride — he will always want to drive.

16. Nothing else ruins the truth like stretching it.

17. He who angers you controls you.

18. Worry is the darkroom in which negatives can develop.

19. Give Satan an inch and he’ll be a ruler.

20. God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

And I’d like to add one which I saw when I was still working in Amorsolo St. in Makati. This one is posted at the Blessed Sacrament of the Don Bosco Church:

“If your problems are deeply-seated and long-standing… try kneeling”

Glorious Wednesdays: Why Am I Not Blessed Yet?

Today is the first Glorious Wednesday episode. Wednesdays represent the Glorious Mystery of  the Rosary (and Baclaran day, too! ) So in honor of this holy mid-week, I will be featuring  inspirational blog posts about faith from various bloggers all over the globe. Who knows, I  might send a GW (Glorious Wednesday) love token for the best post each month!

For today, August 26 – we read from YourDailyWord. This blogger has a very impressive  profile  to start with – “An Electrical Engineer, Call Center Team Lead, and most of all – a minister of God!”

Here’s my favorite part of his post: Why Am I Not Blessed Yet?

The issue is not whether God wants to bless us or not. In fact, God wants to bless us. That’s already a given fact! [Gen. 12:3] The question we should ask ourselves is “Why are we asking for the things we’re asking?”

James clearly said, “we don’t receive what we ask because we ask with wrong motives.”

So much for my turbo-panic-mode of finding an apartment to stay before the month ends. If you are not among the people I see everyday, you are lucky for you are deprived of my endless whinning over finding an apartment near Villamor or Makati. I have this deadline with my landlord up to end of August only. After that, I sleep on the streets. Lol!

If you are like me, you’d probably be asking the Lord too “why I am not blessed yet?” I’m a good girl naman eh. Maybe I’ve been asking with the wrong motives in mind – or I am just of little faith.

Whatever you are going through right now, if you are waiting for some miracle or blessing to happen (and it’s not happening you ask!) – then surely there’s a reason for it. One is that you need a quick check of the heart