Here Comes Mommyhood!

My first Mother’s Day wasn’t so grand as I expected it to be. But definitely, the day had all the meaning to it.

Summer, my then less-than-a-month-old baby girl was rushed to the emergency room because her mom and dad couldn’t stop her crying. I thought something was wrong with my baby: a difficult cold, onset of asthma, or illness I couldn’t detect. To cut the story short, it was a terrible case of stomach gas! After 30 minutes, the resident doctor sent us home with the prescribed medicine.

Yes, we looked like silly first-time parents unprepared for anything.

I remember weeks before that incident, I had my share of being reduced to tears by a mega-fussy 3-week old baby. She wouldn’t sleep while crying her heart out. Lucky for me, my own parents came to my room to get Summer. Surely, it was my mother who was able to quiet her down.

On the eve of Mother’s Day while getting ready for the ER, I was crying because of a pus in my lips. It wasn’t the pain that got me but the worry that I wouldn’t be able to take care of my baby because I’m both weak and exhausted. I knew I am about to face yet another sleepless night that evening with an irritable newborn.

Motherhood is difficult. The most challenging job I ever took.

My darling Summer Maria – looking more like a flower pot!

But true as what other moms say, the pain of sacrifice fades away when you see your child looking at you – needing your care, asking for your touch and warmth. I know kids grow up fast and there might come a point in time when our children won’t need us as much. So better to savor the experiences both good and not so good 🙂 After all, nothing in this world ever lasts.

To all FTMs like me, I know one day we can all look back and say, we’ve passed the test! And it’s alright if sometimes we feel we’re not meeting the standards of motherhood. I am certain mothers know what’s best for their own child. Modern family life can put so much pressure on us mommies. But do remember that we already have all that we need in order to fulfill this role.

With all these first time experiences, I can only be ever so grateful to my own mom who has helped me through and through even if I have become a mother myself.

Happy Mother’s Month daw ang May! 🙂